Month: August 2008

  • Lifestyle Changes...

    I've been trying to handle my PCOS as naturally as I can -without crazy drugs and in a time frame I feel comfortable with.

    When I first found out I had PCOS I weighed about 195 pounds (the peak of my weight). I gained so much weight because of a stressful move, job hunt and also because of poor eating habits. 

    The metformin I was prescribed helped but I knew if I wanted to see lasting results I needed to change my lifestyle and lose some weight. Also, because I no longer had health insurance (because I didn't have a full time job) I knew that I couldn't just rely on medicine to jump start my period each month.

    Last year, I slowly started incorporating exercise back into my life. I walked a few times a week with a good friend in the neighborhood and also started to cook healthier meals at home. 

    Also, my attitude started to change about the stress in my life. I definitely think that gaining some perspective on our financial situation and also learning how to trust more in God has really allowed me to find more freedom and hope in my life.

    Slowly, my menstrual cycle is getting more regular and I'm getting my period more frequently. I also think the move into Manhattan has really helped my lifestyle too.

    I'm a lot more active here than I was in NJ.

    It's sort of strange to think that I'm working out and watching what I eat -basically trying to lose weight to have a baby. :P

    But I know that in the long run this is the best solution for me.

  • Baby Dream...

    It felt so real.

    I dreamed I delivered a healthy baby girl. The doctor gave the baby to Oppa to hold and admire. Then Oppa handed me our baby and immediately before I could see her face I woke up and realized it was all a dream.

    I felt so much disappointment and sadness when I realized the baby wasn't real...

    I'm surprised by how deeply disappointed I feel. Our financial situation prohibits me from wanting to even try to have a baby but in my heart I know that I would happily welcome a child into our family. 

    That battle within me (finances vs. desire to have a child) feels so awful and leaves me wondering what are my true feelings and desires and which one should win out.

    *sigh* The dream felt so real...