August 7, 2008
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Baby Dream...
It felt so real.
I dreamed I delivered a healthy baby girl. The doctor gave the baby to Oppa to hold and admire. Then Oppa handed me our baby and immediately before I could see her face I woke up and realized it was all a dream.
I felt so much disappointment and sadness when I realized the baby wasn't real...
I'm surprised by how deeply disappointed I feel. Our financial situation prohibits me from wanting to even try to have a baby but in my heart I know that I would happily welcome a child into our family.
That battle within me (finances vs. desire to have a child) feels so awful and leaves me wondering what are my true feelings and desires and which one should win out.
*sigh* The dream felt so real...
